6 steps to really change!


The dynamic human being is constantly changing in order to improve his condition of life.

Some are willing to change, some are forced to, some just don't want to change.

Whatever the reason(s) that drive us to change, it is good and reassuring to understand this process.

Prochaska, a renowned psychologist at the University of Rhode Island, has done years of research on successful people who change. In 1997, he refined his change strategy model and named it: the transtheoretical model.

No matter the change in our lives, we all likely go through the same 6 stages.

Step 1: Precontemplation

You are more or less aware of the problem. You don't realize the negative consequences and don't see the change as necessary. You avoid the subject and you de-responsibilize yourself. Your defense mechanisms are in action.

What to do ? As you are not convinced of the benefits at this stage, it is essential to do a self-assessment of the subject.

Step 2: Contemplation

At this point, you have a very strong desire to talk about the issue and fully understand the implications. Some people get stuck at this stage for years. The energy to expend to change can cause fear and set you back.

What to do ? Ask yourself the following question: What keeps me from moving and taking action ? Think about the advantages of switching.

Step 3: Preparation

You are ready to change, but still need to clarify your goals and priorities.

What to do ? Develop a plan and the strategies needed to take action
Stuff : Think about details, possible scenarios and obstacles. Ask yourself the following questions: Or ? When ? How ?

Make a written contract with yourself of your desired, attainable and achievable goal. Set milestones, goals to achieve in the coming months. Small steps, small successes!!
Recognize what you have already accomplished and congratulate yourself!
Say it publicly that you are going to change in order to commit yourself definitively to your objective and do not hesitate to ask for support from the people around you.

Step 4: Action

You are there! Your choice is made! You put your plan into action. This step requires a lot of energy. You change your behavior, your experiences and even your environment. There are all kinds of emotions within you. This can last from 3 to 6 months.

What to do ? Focus on your plan and all the gains that this change brings you and not on the losses. Congratulate yourself for doing what is right for you and for others. You have just shown responsibility and maturity. Congratulations!

Step 5: Hold

The real challenge is to maintain this change. From 7 months we can speak of a real change, but depending on the context, this can last up to 5 years.

What to do ? Above all, do not give in to the past! This whole process has been reflected in many ways in the previous steps. So that means you made a good choice if you are here now.
Avoid repeating situations, contexts, people, places that could make you flinch.
Continue to enhance the positive aspects of your change by focusing on your new ME!
Ask for help if needed to keep you where you are! Hold fast !

Step 6: Integration

You have reached your goal. You are proud and happy of your new ME. You can feel it, you can see it, it's palpable! Now share your experience with others who are still in Stage 1 and need people like you.

Stacy Bensa - Certified NLP Coach

Stacy Bensa
Certified NLP Coach